December 30, 2012

 

“HEAR YE, HEAR YE.  THE COURT’S IN SESSION”

  1. . . . Congress, that is. The plaintiffs came back from Christmas break to deal with the budget package so the country doesn’t fall off the cliff.
  2. . . . Now here comes the judge.  (“Here Comes the Judge” – Pigmeat Markham, 1968 on Chess Records and by Shorty Long on Soul Records, also 1968 – two separate songs.)
  3. . . . Speaker of the House John Boehner likes holding up a giant gavel that’s as big as a croquet mallet to show that he’s still in charge even though a plan he had on the docket for tax hikes was rejected by conservatives.
  4. . . . The proceedings continue.  It’s like a trial.
  5. . . . Who’s prosecuting who?
  6. . . . Can I get a witness?
  7. . . . President Obama is calling for order in the court to avoid mayhem.  Get the bailiff.
  8. . . . The defendants scurry back and forth and up and down from Capitol Hill to the White House to seal a deal.
  9. . . . What will the verdict be?
  10. . . . Will Congress be guilty as charged?
  11. INNAPROPRIATE?  A mother took pictures of her daughter who she plopped right up on the tabernacle area in front of the altar at Midnight Mass at St. Matthews in D.C. on Christmas Eve.
  12. . . . Like it was some tourist destination.
  13. . . . Who’d she think she was?
  14. . . . Disrespectful if you ask me.
  15. . . . Next time just sit in the pew and shut up and tell the mother to have some reverence...
  16. TOO MANY CHOICES.  Macy’s is having a denim sale.  Here are just some of the jean types we have to choose from:
  17. . . . Levi’s 505s straight fit.
  18. . . . 511s skinny.
  19. . . . 514s slim straight.
  20. . . . 527s low-rise bootcut.
  21. . . . 569s loose straight.
  22. . . .  550s relaxed.
  23. . . . and 559s relaxed straight.
  24. . . . And that’s just one brand; there are a hundred others.
  25. . . . Enough for ya?
  26. . . . Something for everybody.
  27. . . . Is it really necessary?
  28. . . . Conspicuous consumption.
  29. Barbara Walters asked the Obamas, “How do you keep the fire going” in her interview with them at the White House last week.
  30. . . . (“How Do You Keep the Music Playing?” – Patti Austin and James Ingram, 1983, on Qwest Records).
  31. . . . The president began his answer with a surprised chuckle.
  32. . . . He didn’t stoop to the baited question and instead answered by saying that marriages have their ups and downs but if you work through the tough times the respect and love that you feel deepens.
  33. . . . He took the high road.
  34. . . . Next time she interviews them maybe they can set up a camera in the bedroom and Walters can sit in a cushy chair and watch while Barack and Michelle make whoopee, for God’s sake.
  35. FINALLY.  They’re pronouncing Jaquar, the British luxury and sports car, in two syllables (“JAG-WAHR”) in the latest TV ads -- NOT like in the older commercials it was pronounced  “JAG-U-WAHR” to feign classiness.
  36. . . . Thanks for getting rid of the hoity-toityness.
  37. SOMETHING TO SEE.  “Zoolights,” at the National Zoo in the nation’s capital.  They use thousands of LED lights to illuminate and transform the zoo into a winter wonderland with colored lights on trees, animal silhouettes in motion above your head, musical light displays and more.
  38. . . . Elaborately done, beautifully executed.
  39. . . . The whole place was awash in holiday color. It put you in the mood.
  40. . . . Sponsored by Pepco and other companies
  41. . . . (Maybe that’s why my electric bill’s so high.)
  42. NICE TO HEAR.  “I’m So Happy (Tra-La-La-La-La-La)” an upbeat early doo-wop song by Lewis Lymon (Frankie Lymon’s brother/”Why Do Fools Fall in Love”)  & The Teenchords (1956 on Fury Records) being used to advertize for Google Chrome, the Internet browser.
  43. . . . Sounds good after all these years.
  44. . . . Pairing the old with the new.  Good advertising campaign. It grabbed me.
  45. It seems they’re doing more versions of those Cialis commercials for erectile dysfunction with new people appearing in the ads .
  46. . . . And the couples seem younger  – or I’m getting older.
  47. . . . They’re full of playfulness and suggestive glances as they do dumb things together.
  48. . . . By taking Cialis the men are at the ready when the time is right – and they look it.
  49. . . . And that could happen any second.
  50. . . . When it does, they stand proud and erect. Ha Ha Ha.
  51. . . . You can’t wipe the smiles off their faces.
  52. David Beckham’s hair on the soccer field looks like it’s not even messed up from playing the game.
  53. . . . There was a picture of him down on his knees, hands in the air, after winning another MLS title in his final game with the Los Angeles Galaxy.
  54. . . . He’s always seems at the ready for his closeup.
  55. In a promo for her “Katie” syndicated talk show that the local ABC television station (WJLA) airs in Washington, Katie Couric says this at the end of it:  “ABC7, where my mom watches my show.”
  56. . . . Awwww.
  57. . . . She’s from Arlington, Va., and I guess that’s where her parents still reside and watch TV.
  58. . . . Nice daughter.
  59. . . . Cute.
  60. GRIPE.  On Saturdays The Washington Post standardly publishes air times and guests for the Sunday talk shows – all of them.   This week (and several other times) there were no listings for the three major ones:  “This Week” (ABC), “Face the Nation” (CBS) or “Meet the Press” (NBC).   
  61. . . . The information was there for CNN’s “State of the Union” and Fox’s “Fox News Sunday.”
  62. . . . JUST ASKING.  Couldn’t they still list the shows and their times even though guests have not been announced? They’re still gonna be on the air, for crissakes.
  63. . . . They haven’t disappeared from the broadcast firmament.
  64. . . . Washington is one of the biggest markets for these weekly talk shows and the newspaper of record should be more complete and accurate in its listings.
  65. . . . Don’t let it happen again.
  66. HIGHFALUTIN.  Don’t talk to me about “Draconian” spending cuts.  I don’t know what the hell that means and it’s constantly used by all the news reporters when it comes talking about taxes and the economy.
  67. . . . I’m told it’s a reference to Draco, a harsh Athenian lawmaker back in the 7th Century B.C.(I’ll never remember that.)
  68. . . . Who cares about him?
  69. . . . Use another term and come down to earth.
  70. . . . UH . . . “Come On Down To My Boat”  -- Every Mother’s Son, bubblegum music from 1967, on MGM Records.


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