TARGET DOG!

1. . . . Love it when they say/sing that.
2. Julia Roberts says that when she laughs now - she's pregnant with twins - she sounds like a truck driver. Hope that's better than that hideous cackle she usually has.
3. JON STEWART NEEDS TO GET A LIFE. The comedian and faux news anchor of Comedy Central's Daily Show was on CNN's Crossfire on Friday and was very combative. He was giving show hosts Paul Begala and Tucker Carlson hell about not being honest and accused them of "partisan hackery." Stewart wanted to be serious and talk about responsibility and didn't think Begala and Carlson were living up to it. Carlson thought all Stewart did with Sen. Kerry on his show was throw him softballs and "suck up" to the presidential candidate. "We need help from the media," said Stewart to Carlson.
4. . . . It ended up with Stewart saying to Carlson, "You're as big a d_ _ k on your show as you are on any show."
5. . . . So Stewart was prickly. I guess it was one of those "I want to get serious about something for a few minutes before I continue with my comedy shtick or plug my book." (The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction) Gimme a Break! He and his show are very overrated.
6. I'm late on this but Mark Steines is the new co-anchor with Mary Hart on Entertainment Tonight and there's no more Bob Goen. Parade had a Q&A about it and chalked it up to Goen being a little over-the-hill for the demographics the show aims for. Steines has been the show's main intrepid reporter and was the logical choice, I guess. But the anchors on those shows are throwaway anyway, if you ask me.
7. HE GOT IT BACKWARDS. "Consider the buggy and horse days," said President Bush on a campaign stop last week.
8. HE SAID IT AGAIN. Kerry, on the third debate: "I was an altar boy." So was Mr. Big Stuff and so was Joe Heim, music critic for washingtonpost.com.
9. Dick Cheney's daughter Liz sounds like mother Lynne. Same voice.
10. Why does Rod Stewart always wear a pin-striped suit/waistcoat? Is he still trying to keep up his Mod Rod days of yore? He wore one this past weekend on Today when he sang a couple songs off his third album, Stardust: The Great American Songbook, Volume 3.
11. . . . When he sang Embraceable You (Ira Gershwin, 1930), he changed the original lyric from "Don't be a naughty baby, Come to Papa - come to Papa - do" to "Come to Daddy - come to Daddy ..." I don't know, maybe he was contemporizing. Or maybe he meant Sugar Daddy or maybe Mack Daddy.
12. A switchboard operator at one of the major broadcasting company's New York headquarters, after I asked to be connected to someone and before she let me go said, "Have a magical evening." What's that all about? Do I need that? For crissakes, just answer the phone and do the connect thing and don't attach personal greetings. Just be a disembodied conduit. And make sure you answer the phone on the first ring.
13. The woman, Andrea Mackris, who's bringing the lawsuit against Bill O'Reilly sure has a purse-lipped mouth. You couldn't pry it open.
14. . . . And O'Reilly. How the mighty fall. Couldn't happen to a better blowhard.
15. SAFE CAPITAL? Twelve murders a month in D.C. so far this year.
16. I wanna see that new Annette Bening movie, Being Julia. They say she's great and really chews the scenery. She plays Julia Lambert, an aging star in prewar London theater in the ‘30s. She's married to Michael Gosselyn (Jeremy Irons) but starts up an affair with a young American named Tom Fennel (Shaun Evans), who, New York Times film critic A.O. Scott described as having "the sexual magnetism of a boiled potato" and that it's not believable that Bening's character would fall for such a Milquetoast.
17. Someone told me I was too mean to get the flu.
18. DO WE HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH THIS? Pat O'Brien, snake oil salesman and host of the new Entertainment Tonight clone show, The Insider, will now be doing daily pops (2-way interviews) with Wolf Blitzer on CNN for the latest in entertainment news. That's what Wolf said.
19. After the debate last week, all the Bushes and Kerrys should've gotten together and done a line dance or something, like the Texas two-step or Electric Slide. Would've brought them closer together.
20. ANOTHER ROBIN WILLIAMS PSYCHO MOVIE. The Final Cut. Count me OUT.
21. NEW CHARACTER: Man in Black sez, "Tony Blair sounds like C3PO." This is true.
22. Shouldn't Janet Jackson pay that FCC fine CBS got for her breast-bearing incident? It's $550,000. She's got that much money.
23. "Kaiser Permanente. Thrive," they say in their TV commercial. Oh shut up!
24. LOST DIGNITY. Why did M&M, er, ... I mean Eminem, do that mocking music video, Just Lose It, of Michael Jackson? BET has pulled it but MTV and MTV2 are continuing to air it. Jackson himself called it "demeaning and insensitive" because he is depicted in scenes surrounded by young boys. Also, the video shows Jackson's (Eminem's) nose falling off and somebody with high-heels stepping on it.
25. Diana Ross is going on tour. Called Forever. (Dramatic enough?) Ten dates, beginning Nov. 5. Will people turn out? They didn't on that ill-fated Supremes Reunion Tour a couple of years ago.
26. Somebody asked in Lisa de Moraes' washingtonpost.com online discussion show, On TV, if ABC was the new NBC and she said, "Works for me." This might be true.
27. Mr. Big Stuff thinks George Bush looks like Alfred E. Newman sometimes.
28. MADE ME GAG. Oprah with guest Celine Dion talking about her baby, the fact that she and hubby Rene Angelil may have another one because he had his … ahem … sperm frozen; and the new album and book of photographs, Miracle, that's out with Celine holding babies, babies and more babies.
29. NERVY. Eric Clapton was arrested in France for going 134 mph and then the police officers asked for his autograph.
30. TV director Gil Cates will once again do the Academy Awards next year. It'll be his 12th.
31. Both Martha Raddatz of ABC and Richard Engel of NBC were seen last week -- not together, obviously -- from Iraq on one of those green night vision cameras. Each did her/his standupper with it. Spooky. She was in Fallujah and he was in Ramadi. Engel also walked some in one of his on-camera "bridges." He always does some walking in his news reports.
32. WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT? Rolling Stone Mick Jagger and Eurythmic Dave Stewart do the music for the upcoming remake of Alfie, starring Jude Law. They're a far cry from Burt Bacharach and Hal David.
33. What's all this voting before the election? I thought that only happened for people who couldn't be around when election day rolls around. Out of the country or something. Now they're allowing it in Colorado, Arkansas, Florida and Texas. Bush's parents voted Tuesday in Houston. What makes them so special?
34. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, is getting ready for Halloween, whether she knows it or not. Owner Sally needs some ideas on what she should be. Any suggestions? (No pressure) I know, she's only a dog.
35. Tatum O'Neal's book, A Paper Life, sounds like a good read for those who like celebrity tell-alls. They say she's climbing back up from the abyss of addictions and a rough life.
36. . . . My mother wants the paperback when it comes out. (She doesn't like hardbacks. Says they're too bulky and heavy.)
37. UH . . . Paperback Writer - The Beatles on Capitol. 1966. Their first four American-released albums drop on Nov. 16 as a CD boxed set. (You can't buy them separately.) The Capitol Albums, Vol. 1.

rocci@roccifisch.com

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